Microsoft Uses AI For Smarter Windows Updates, AI Gives Up
In an unforeseen twist in the tech world, Microsoft’s latest venture to utilize artificial intelligence for the deployment of smarter, more intuitive […]
Author: Emily Sage
Billion-Dollar AI Startup Metallic Intellect Bringing Terminator To Life
Remember that existential dread you get when your Roomba gets slightly too ambitious navigating under the couch? Brace yourselves, folks, because “Metallic Intellect” (MI […]
Elon Musk Launches New Cryptocurrency: VoteCoin, Now Trading at $1 Million per Vote
Tech billionaire and self-proclaimed “meme lord” Elon Musk has unveiled his latest brainchild: VoteCoin. This revolutionary new cryptocurrency is already trading at […]
Are Standing Desks Actually Bad For Your Health? A New Study Funded by Big Chair
A new study funded by the totally-not-biased consortium known as “Big Chair” suggests that standing desks might be the silent killer lurking […]
OpenBSD 7.6 Released: Three People Really Excited About It
In a groundbreaking event that has rocked the tech world to its very core, OpenBSD 7.6 was released this evening. Reports indicate […]
Apple Switches to Selling Clocks After US Bans Apple Smartwatch
In a move that has left Silicon Valley analysts resetting their sundials, tech giant Apple Inc. has announced a drastic pivot in […]
Silicon Valley’s Latest Breakthrough: The ‘Smart Pebble’
In an unprecedented display of technological ingenuity, Silicon Valley’s brightest minds have outdone themselves once again. This week, the tech world is […]
World Astrology Organization To Redraw Constellations Based On Starklink Satellites
In a groundbreaking announcement that has both astronomers and astrologers looking skyward, the World Astrology Organization (WAO) has declared its plans to […]
BioTech Firm Turns Meat Into Revolting Synthetic Vegetable
In a world where plant-based meats are sprouting up like weeds, one daring biotech firm has decided to swim against the current. […]
Dog Accidentally Creates NFT While Chewing on Tablet, Becomes Millionaire
In an unexpected twist in the ever-surprising world of non-fungible tokens (NFTs), a dog named Buster has chewed his way to millionaire […]