Health
Are Standing Desks Actually Bad For Your Health? A New Study Funded by Big Chair
A new study funded by the totally-not-biased consortium known as "Big Chair" suggests that standing desks might be the silent
Silicon Valley's New Healthcare Plan: Just Don’t Get Sick
In a bold move that has left the rest of the nation in awe, Silicon Valley has unveiled its revolutionary
Phones
Apple Announces New iPhone That Can Only Be Charged With a $1000 Cable
BREAKING: Apple Unveils iPhone UltraPlus — Can Only Be Charged Using The Exclusive $1000 "iCable Pro" CUPERTINO, CA — In
Elon Musk Launches New Cryptocurrency: VoteCoin, Now Trading at $1 Million per Vote
By Emily Sage on October 21, 2024
Tech billionaire and self-proclaimed "meme lord" Elon Musk has unveiled his latest brainchild: VoteCoin. This revolutionary new cryptocurrency is already trading at a staggering $1 million per vote, making it the most expensive way to potentially undermine democracy since the invention of lobbying. How VoteCoin Works (or Doesn't) Musk, speaking at a rally in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, where he was busy Trump-stumping and possibly violating several laws, explained the concept: Sign a petition from Musk's "Definitely Not Trying to Buy Votes" PAC Vote for any candidate with the initials DT Receive one VoteCoin ??? Profit! "It's simple," Musk tweeted later. "VoteCoin is the future of democracy. Think of it as a blockchain-based freedom token. Also, did I mention Tesla is working on a car that runs on pure electoral energy?" The Fine Print Only registered voters living in swing states like Pennsylvania, Georgia, Nevada, or Arizona are eligible to receive VoteCoins. Because nothing says "fair and balanced election" like targeting only the states that matter, right? Legal experts have pointed out that this scheme is "about as legal as using Monopoly money to pay your taxes." UCLA political science professor Rick Hasen wrote in his Election Law Blog, "If violating electionRead More...
Tech
Corporate SmackDown: Future Silicon Valley Mergers to Be Decided by WWE-style Matches
Wall Street analysts were left drop-kicking their spreadsheets and the average American gleefully clutching their remote, after a groundbreaking proposal
California Fines Zoom for Having a Physical Office and Not Being Fully Remote
In a move that has left the corporate world in a state of paradox-induced whiplash, California has slapped Zoom with
Apps
WhatsApp Introduces New 'Morse Code' Ultra Privacy Mode
Silicon Folly Valley – In a bid to up the ante on messaging privacy, WhatsApp has unveiled its most encrypted
AI
Billion-Dollar AI Startup Metallic Intellect Bringing Terminator To Life
Remember that existential dread you get when your Roomba gets slightly too ambitious navigating under the couch? Brace yourselves, folks, because "Metallic
Entertainment
YouTube Ads To Play The Most Annoying Sound In The World If Ignored
YouTube, in its never-ending quest to capture and retain viewer attention, has unveiled its latest, and perhaps most audacious, advertising